winter

Winter arrived, snowing blowing 40mph wind. Wind, something I've hated since I was little. Why? It took my breath away for health reasons..I remember my dad showing me the wind was fine when I was about 2 when all of a sudden a big huge tree came crashing down. That did it I screamed and cried. Never have liked wind or snow or white-outs since. How many times we came home from dad n' mom's after I was married I wasn't sure we were going to make it thru the white-outs. We did but on a wing and a prayer. Once our kid arrived I put my foot down, no more travelling other then necessary in the snow -- today we had to go we made it safely and it was only 15 minutes away but I still hated the wind. I wonder where the angel is that used to sit atop our tree -- I know I'm changing the subject but not really Dad bought that Angel for Mom and ME our first christmas together -- someday I'd like to hand it to our kid but who knows where it ended up after the farm. That's the sad part my kid will never know memories of his grandpa only his grandmother and his other grandpa. Memories need to be made but it's hard. God Bless Us Everyone even in white-out conditions. We have a travel ban on I'm glad we went earlier!!

Love

Christmas, It's supposed to be a time of Love and Giving and Celebrating God's Precious gift.
Why can't it be Christmas all year long?? I love all of my family I really do I just don't understand the hurts they have caused in the past. We need to forgive and move on even though it's hard we need people in our lives. And Christmas should be celebrated every day of the year not just one. Merry Christmas....Last night we watched in awe as the tree got lit. It was a memory for me as well as our son now to make my husbands holidays happier?? He hates them and I wish he wouldn't. It's hard to be happy when someone u love is not. God Bless Us Everyone said Tiny Tim -- yet he had hardships too but he still loved everyone we need to be more like Tiny Tim in today's weird world.

Oh the weather

oh the phone is ringing questions, and the fire is burning slowly, soon it'll be time to go and deliver what a show...the christmas chimes are ringing and so are my ears. OK I'm no poet but wow what a good week we've had. Last night our son felt ignored he stomped into our mailing room and said "Daddy you and Mom are watching Peanuts/Charlie brown christmas with me." And stomped back out. We laughed. We put our pens down and turned on the answering machine and with tea and pop in hand we felt like kids again. Sitting in the living room with christmas lights blinking around us glued to the t.v. watching shows we had watched as kids and listening to our kid laugh..then I felt a shaking "Mommy you fell asleep on me." With a pout so I played deep freeze on the computer with him instead he seemed content. It was midnight before we got to bed had packages to get ready for our customers....but it was worth making one more tradition with our child. Our traditions are NEW for TODAY compared to yesteryear and records and caroling that I remember but we still do hot chocolate and I hope we still make memories for our youngster. What is your favorite memory?

Humbug No Return

Well CyberSaturday worked better then CyberMonday for us?? Wonder why.
We teach our son to be frugle. He's downloading cybercoupons. Today he had one in his pocket, he's been saving months for horse.....We've been pricing this one, "Mom I can have it and it's still the cheapest with this coupon it's even MORE off." Was his reply as his eyes lit when his Dad picked it off the shelf for him. Our kid may have toys and lots of them but none are the expensive and always on half-price sales -- we want him to learn giving is worth more then receiving. We hate relatives that yowl about his toys they simply don't understand. Our son could become a cybertycoon one day because of his savings. He's learned to save at a very young age. Now he's saving for a hotel in the Spring. "If gas stays the same mom I almost have enough for one night." We grin and pray gas goes down a bit. Wonder why cybermonday was so slow for us maybe cause we got lucky and cybersaturday was good for us. God will provide.

Shopping..

Well Thanksgiving we were all sick except for our little one. So we watched the parade, ate at home, and slept. Not big on football.
HATE To shop so did shopping online that's not so bad it's quiet and peaceful.

When I was little, every Year before Christmas (we didn't have black friday then) My dad would pack us all in the LTD and off we'd go to town, but it was Friday Night and as I recall the Friday before Christmas. We'd stop at Ritz the candy store, and Murphy's, and the Shoe Shop where his sister worked, and Buyer's Fair and at the time a Special treat was the Christian Book Store for us -- that was all our small town had. It was a place to see friends, and neighbors. Farmers went but Only on Fridays when they got their milk check.
We only got candy at Christmas time so going to The Ritz was special...I can still smell the fudge and the cinnamon candy canes.

Years later when we were growing up those days quit. Why I guess cause town and shopping malls came into the area. The Small Town scene was gone.

Every Black Friday Dad would wake us up at 4 a.m. "Come on Gotta feed cows so we can go." I think it was HIS favorite time of the year. We'd Shop all day first at the Mall then at Hills the next town over. He'd end the day by showing us all the christmas lights in the town where he worked. We'd sing carols on the way home usually snowing.

My husband HATES Crowds and shopping. I was the first one to ever get him in a mall period. And waking him up before 8 a.m. ha ha ha..So I shop on line with a cup of tea in my hand. It was quiet and peaceful and memories of past days came flooding the mind.

Our store online is getting busy finally. Today my hubby is combining the last of the corn. The relatives are still down the road but they are still shopping -- yeech 3 days of shopping they do I couldn't handle that..

But I do wish we could start a tradition for our son, perhaps without knowing it we have -- the Train Store we go to everyyear has turned into a Christmas thing for our kid and he loves it he never wants to leave. What else could we do???

Happy Holidays

Rain Still, A Farm

What a day. We spent most inside stocking our store for the holidays. FInally have 50 things listed want 50 more tomorrow....

The rain matches our moods. All we ever wanted was a farm, a house a barn acreage, cows, horses goats and pigs. It doesn't look like we'll ever own one now. But we sell Farm things. It's our second dream. If we can't have one we'll sell stuff, Farm Related. It boosts our moods a bit and we smile. New HOlland, Minneapolis Moline, Case International. Oh to have the real hay mowers and farm tractors. Oh to have a real semi. Dreams for some reason shattered. Because of our parents sad to say. Not one but FOUR. Not one set would help us EVER. It's been a heck of a ride up and down. We're trying to start our own business from scratch. It worked for awhile but not now with gas soo high. I'm praying we don't go bankrupt. My hubby doesn't deserve it neither does my son. For 7 he understands way too much about no money and not being able to do things because of it. It's not fair to him. I hate all of my relatives for telling me over and over the farm was going to be mine some day. Now my husbands dad is doing the same thing, "Someday" Never comes. I wish we owned some land, not a virtual store.

God get me through this it hurts. I just want a place to live in the country with a barn that is usable. U see my dad rebuilt that barn for me. He knew I'd have health problems. He made it easy for me to do chores. I can't look back Ican only look forward. But I still hear him, "Someday this will be yours." I wish that someday would come. I can't go back the farm was sold for reasons I don't understand. It hurts.....

Now my father-in-law is pulling the same thing with my husband. Someday is never coming here either. I wish I could find a job. A Job that pays money every week not just once in awhile...I pray Christmas sales rise.

Today we have hope. SOmeone stopped and asked on a price of a tractor for sale, funny thing is we need that dumb thing we need a loader tractor but if we can sell it perhaps we can use the other one that's not as good. Please God let us have a bit of Christmas??

2002

The year, 2002, The day 14 days before Black Friday....We get a call frantic, "you'd better come, watch the place." "I have to take your dad to the hospital.' ""Please....the phone went dead. It was my Mom. No one remembers but my husband. No one believes she asked us to stay at the farm and guard it. We did -- And well -- our kid was 2 he was tiny and hated the cold but drive 3 hours we did. It was a thankless job feeding the cows and the dog. The dog would Howl at night, my hubby and I both said, This is it, Dad's dying. That dog is too sad. Black Friday we decided to go eat, we were hungry nothing for food left in the house of my parents. We went to Jamestown got groceries. Shopped at Sears, my husband still uses the shop light we got for 10.00 that day. Our kid had a ball looking at lights picking one toy a small car that lit up with shapes in it and made noise, one he had been playing with in physical therapy.

Back to the farm again. We couldn't believe our eyes. Someone an intruder had been there. The garage was well open, the drill press was going, the saws were humming and oh crap, the cows were in the road. It was then we called 2 other neighbors to come help and rounded the cows up and said NO We're putting them in the barn not leaving them per request. "The cows will be safer in the barn."

No one cared we got yelled at for stealing instead. I'm tired of family. It hurts everytime I see my sisters and mother's eyes the way they treated us. They act like we are things of the past and don't seem to care that my husband and I ruined a truck going 3 hrs per dad's request twice a month to help at the farm therafter.....I try to make holidays fun for our kid he doesn't deserve unhappiness he is good and wholesome and innocent. He doesn't remember his grandpa who finally had a boy and wanted to give him part of the farm. For me I hate holidays because of this they are just awful...

Christmas if we can sell enough we want to go away Our kid wants to see gramma I'm not sure I can handle it it hurts that we weren't trusted..

I think I know who came that day someone who is far away someone who lives 4 hrs from dad and hates me....but I can't prove it.....they sure caused a mess...it was what they wanted.

God Bless pray for me to make it thru Easter then life will calm down and be better. I hate holidays.