Rain Still, A Farm

What a day. We spent most inside stocking our store for the holidays. FInally have 50 things listed want 50 more tomorrow....

The rain matches our moods. All we ever wanted was a farm, a house a barn acreage, cows, horses goats and pigs. It doesn't look like we'll ever own one now. But we sell Farm things. It's our second dream. If we can't have one we'll sell stuff, Farm Related. It boosts our moods a bit and we smile. New HOlland, Minneapolis Moline, Case International. Oh to have the real hay mowers and farm tractors. Oh to have a real semi. Dreams for some reason shattered. Because of our parents sad to say. Not one but FOUR. Not one set would help us EVER. It's been a heck of a ride up and down. We're trying to start our own business from scratch. It worked for awhile but not now with gas soo high. I'm praying we don't go bankrupt. My hubby doesn't deserve it neither does my son. For 7 he understands way too much about no money and not being able to do things because of it. It's not fair to him. I hate all of my relatives for telling me over and over the farm was going to be mine some day. Now my husbands dad is doing the same thing, "Someday" Never comes. I wish we owned some land, not a virtual store.

God get me through this it hurts. I just want a place to live in the country with a barn that is usable. U see my dad rebuilt that barn for me. He knew I'd have health problems. He made it easy for me to do chores. I can't look back Ican only look forward. But I still hear him, "Someday this will be yours." I wish that someday would come. I can't go back the farm was sold for reasons I don't understand. It hurts.....

Now my father-in-law is pulling the same thing with my husband. Someday is never coming here either. I wish I could find a job. A Job that pays money every week not just once in awhile...I pray Christmas sales rise.

Today we have hope. SOmeone stopped and asked on a price of a tractor for sale, funny thing is we need that dumb thing we need a loader tractor but if we can sell it perhaps we can use the other one that's not as good. Please God let us have a bit of Christmas??